Dear Santa
by WolvieFanSpell
Summary: The Xmen's letters to Santa. That says it all. Caution: may be funny
1. Hey Bub Wolverine

Hey Bub,  
Can't say I've been good this year, but I didn't tempt Jean to cheat on Scooter more than ten times... Just bring me my usual. That is, beer, whiskey, and cuban cigars. But I gotta list of things you need to bring for the team. I know, I'm generous.

Jean-Bring her some of that wonderful sexy perfume I love so much.

Scott-Yeah, he's on my list. Told ya I was generous. Bring him some dead rattlesnakes and if he's been really good, bring him a half-living rat.

Jubes-Bring the kid some bubblegum and a cowboy hat so that she'll quit stealing mine. And give the kid a new raincoat. The other one got ripped up pretty bad on our last mission.

Ororo-Bring 'Ro some new plants, and maybe a book on gardens in Japan. She's been wanting to plant one every since I described them to her.

Rouge- Bring the woman some nice gloves and a new horror flick.

Gambit- Bring Gumbo some spicy seasonings and a few more packs of cards.

Charles-Bring Chuck a new fancy suit and a book on Physics

Oh, by the way, don't forget to put flowers on Mariko's grave. Bring them others a few more things, and bring Sabertooth a major hangover.Remember my stuff.

Remember our agreement,  
Logan 


	2. Please,Scott

Dear Santa,

Please do not bring Wolverine anything this year. He is always bad. Bring Jean some pretty jewelry. And bring each of the team a new uniform.  
Bring me a new visor, some new sunglasses.

Please give me a wolverine free christmas. He has ruined christmas by taking away my place as Santa each year. And that darned cajun has blown up the mistletoe every year when I pass under it. I want them to leave and go get locked up in jail, or something.

Please don't let villains attack again this year. And stop Jubilee from dyeing all my clothes pink. Not to mention my hair that one year.

And please help me find a good gift for the proffesser. I can't hink of anything I haven't bought him before. See, I've bought him a tie each year. what kind should I buy him this time? One with cars, maybe as a little joke.  
Maybe a new book or something would do.

And I wanna dress up as Santa this year. Not LOGAN! That horrible, rotten evil coniving little animal. He doesn't deserve to play jolly happy you.

And give Emma some new clothing, some that perferably covers a little more skin. She seems to enjoy showing off.

I know! Bring Charles a new chess set! Perfect.

PLEASE,  
Scott Summers Cyclops 


	3. Greetings Santa, Kurt

Greeting Santa,  
I doesn't ask for much, just a case of beer to share with the man who call's me "Elf." how appropriate, no? Logan loves to drink more than I love the circus.

For Scott, bring our leader a bottle of the finest wine, maybe help him mellow out a little.

For the younger members, bring a white christmas, so that they can play in the snow on christmas. And bring them a lot of candy. And allow the younger ones to have a safe christmas. whithout us losing a team member or Wolverine running off.

For Jean, bring her a new sweater, make it red to match with her beautiful hair.

For Gambit, bring him some things for his gumbo.

And for Professer, bring him his favorite dessert.

Bring Rogue some new books, and a new leather jacket, her other favorite one having been destroyed.

Bring the whole mansion some new books. As well as more basketballs, as Logan has torn the entire stock of others beyond repair. 

Bring The rest of the team closer together and closer to god for christmas.  
For if the Xmen are a family, Christmas is hte time they should all get along.

Thank You,  
Your faithful blue "ELF"  
Nightcrawler, Kurt Wagner 


	4. Hey ole st nick, Rouge

Hello Readers. Just wanted to thank all those who have read and reviewed. At the end of all these letters will be a suprise chapter. Hope you are enjoying this and please keep reviewing.

* * *

Hey Ole St. Nick,

This is me, Rogue. Ah know ah ain't been the best this year. Actually I've been pretty bad. But ah do think I've been good enough for a few presents, if they're all not for me.

First off, give the old man a hat, or even a wig.That's right, Im referring to Charles.

Secound, give Remy some sunglasses so that next time we go out in public he isn't chased by a mob of super-crazy freaks who think Remy is some kinda demon that escaped from an insane asylem the way he talks in third person all the time.

Then, bring Logan a new shirt, please try not to make it flanel. He already looks like a pysco lumberjack most of the time.

Give Jubilee and Kitty a shopping spree. Wait, maybe not if they are gonna drag me around, ohhh never mind, just give them one. I mean it, only one!

Give Scott some... well ok, for such an...ummmmm person, give him whatever you think is best for his particularness.

Ummmm... bring Bobby that new video game for his Xbox 360, to which he is now attached permanetly, at the hands. He hasn't gotten off the stupid machine since our last mission, and he really needs a new game. Yeah, im pretty tired of hearing about this level and that level. You should of seen him that time he went through a SIMS craze. we couldn't understand a word he said for weeks.

Give Nightcrawler a unicycle. To remind him of the circus, you know.

Ummmm Guess that's it. And for myself I just want one day of peace.

Christmas cheer,  
Rogue


	5. Joyeux Noël Le Père noël, Gambit

**Thanks for the ideas that I have been given so far. If you have anymore, please include them in the reviews you give me. I would really appriciate it!**

**

* * *

Joyeux Noël Le Père noël,  
_Merry Christmas Santa Claus,_**

Remy wants something better than da usual fare of Bud. Maybe some bourbon, and bring Remy some of dem new playing cards people down in New Orleans made. Dey hab some good artists down dere.

Bring ma chere a pretty necklace, make it kinda gothic, no? Rouge would love it.

Bring dat Wolverine a case of whiskey and a good long book. Maybe reading will calm dat homme down a little.

Bring dat little firecracker Jubilee and her friend Shadowcat some new clothes. Dat way dey won't have ta go shoppin' every other day.

Bring da Professer a ummmmmmm...unorthodox movie. Maybe help him lighten up a bit.

Bring dat Scott a new scarf for da comin' winter. And bring dat homme somet'ing to help him mellow out a whole lot.

Bring dat beautiful chere Jean a new book filled with da poetry Remy had been findin' on Remy's last trip. Beauty for someone nearly as beautiful.

Bring Stormy a pretty bunch of flowers, well as a necklace with soft blue jewels to match her eyes. Don' try an jyp Remy. Remy be a t'ief. Gambit know da difference between stones and jewels.

Bring Nightcrawler a poker set so Remy can teach him how to play. Dat way da poor guy won' lose so badly to Gambit an' Logan. Also bring him a new Bible, as his other one be pretty worn.

Bring da Thief's guild a good haul, well as bring Bella a flower. Give Remy some luck to help with the cooking ob de gumbo for christmas dinner.

Thank ya,  
Remy Lebeau Gambit


	6. Puppies, Jubilee

I wasn't so sure how people would like this letter. Please read and review quickly and provide any help if you feel it necessary. THANX!

* * *

Dear Santa, 

Bring me a some new clothes, and a Xbox 360 with LOTS of games. Also I have just one thing I would like you to bring each team member. I mean, they all need something to love. And there's plenty of room in the mansion.

PUPPIES! But make it a different kind for each person.

For Wolvie get him a mutt. One of those big kinda dogs. Maybe part German Shepard. One that could put up with him when he gets into a depression.

Maybe bring Cyclops one of those little yappy dogs with lots of attitude. Kinda like him. Mabye a chiwawa.

Bring Jean a collie. They're kinda sweet and nice like Jean. Make it one of those tannish kind.

Bring Shadowcat a lab and border collie mix. Black.

Bring Beast a big furry dog. Maybe a St. Benard. Maybe it will bring out the playfull side in him. Everyone has to have a playful side.

Bring the professer a small dog, maybe a Yorkshire Terrier. That way he can hold it on his lap.

Bring Nightcrawler a pure lab puppy. Make it so dark that it almost seems blue.

Bring me a beagle. I just love their soft, cute eyes.

Bring Rouge a rotwieler. I sure would love to see how they get along. At least it will be a puppy so Gumbo can raise it right.

Bring Rouge a medium dog. Just make it a mutt with big eyes and charm and she'll love it. After all, she likes gambit.

Bring Collosus a Great Dane. Now that's a huge dog. That way the tin man can raise him right.

Oh, ummm bring storm a old english sheep dog. It seems to match her quiet personality almost perfectly.  
Ummmmmmm That's it I guess. Oh and bring all the bad guys the flu to keep them away. Have a very merry christmas!

Merry Christmas,  
Jubilee Jubilation Lee


	7. Peaceful Christmas, Storm

I may not be able to include letters from all the Xmen and be done by christmas. I will only do 3 more letters. Jean, Professer, and Iceman.

* * *

Dear Santa, 

I ask not much this Christmas, just that it should be peaceful. The mansion has suffered so much in this past year that it would take a novel to describe it all. I only ask that you bring good health to all in the mansion, that would be your gift to me.

Now for my friends I would ask more. For my dear friend Nightcrawler I would ask for him to find answers that would lead to his inner peace.

For my friend Gambit I would ask for his bostaff to be repaired after the damage it sustained in the last battle we fought against the Sentinals.

For Wolverine I ask for him to recieve his own motercycle, although I do not believe that would stop him from stealing Cyclop's.

For Cyclop's I would ask for him to have one night of freedom, free of worry, free of fear. Oh I am sure it would be a blessing to him.

To my best friend Jean I would like for her to recieve a necklace of the finest emeralds to match her glittering eyes.

For my mentor Charles, I want him to recievea visit from Lilranda, the queen of the Shiar. I know this could be immpossible, but I am sure it would leave him with happy memories of this christmas.

For Collosus, bring him a new sketchpad and paints. It seems strange that the big man, built like a professional football player should love the fine art of making images out of thoughts.

For Iceman, I simply ask for snow. This would make his day, as he would be right in his element.

For Jubilation and Kitty, I want you to bring them each a new set of p.j.s, which could make thier day, or should I say night?

For Rouge I want you to bring her some boots, as the others I ruined "accidently" while in a bad temper.

That is all I guess. I wish no harm upon our enimies, only that they should leave us in peace. I wish also that my garden may prosper, and that my tribe in Africa may survive another year well. Thank you.

Best Wishes,  
Storm Ororo Monroe


	8. Hey Mr Claus, Iceman

Ok, sorry that this is so short. I mean, it's like really late at night and I couldn't think of anything else. Tomarrow THE END WILL COME! Along with the suprise ending I promised. Only professer and Jean left, and then I will have to stop due to limited time. Sorry.

Thanks to those who have been reviewing. And I would love for you to keep giving me hints and things that make me burst out laughing.

* * *

Hey Mr. Claus,

Hey dude, all I ask for is games.

Bring Wolvie something to CALM HIM DOWN!

Bring Gambit and Rogue some ummmmmmm movies. Good ones, ones that'll send chills up thier spines.

Bring the Prof. a hat. A redsocks baseball cap. That way I can borrow it sometimes.

Bring that anal-retentive neat freak, Cyke, a book on, "Chilling out for dummies."

Bring Jubilee some candy, chocolate, and a yellow outfit. Maybe a cute outfit, you know...

Bring Emma, well...ummmmm...more lingure. Maybe in another color besides white, you know?

Bring Collosus a football so that we can play on Christmas day. I will soooooo win this year.

Bring Kitty a new bunch of hair stuff. That's about all I can think of., maybe some new makeup too.

That's all I can think of this year. I mean, its been a long year. And it's real late at night. ummmm guess I'll go to bed.

Hurry Up Christmas,  
Iceman Bobby Drake

Ps. Make those bad guy geeks have a horrible christmas. Like, make 'em all wake up,like with ummmmm...symptoms.


	9. Cordially, Professer

I know that we are nearing the end of this story, with only Jean's letter left. But Jean's letter shall not be the last chapter. There will be just one chapter after Jean's letter. The SUPRISE ending

* * *

Hello St. Nicholas, 

My name is Professer Xavier, but I assume that you already know that. For myself I ask for a massage. It would help relieve the tension that has been giving me so much grief.

But for my loyal followers, I would ask much more.

For Scott, I would request that you send him a subscription to soem magazines of which I am an avid...ummmmmm...reader of.

For Wolverine I request some fine wine, preferably old and well-aged.

For Gambit I would ask for a video camera in order to catch the childish look on his face as he opens his other presents on christmas morning.

Bring Jean a new costume as her old one seems to be slightly out of keeping with the times.

Bring darling Storm the gift of a new planter for her green house, as her green house is her pride and joy.

For the younger members I want you to bring them each a sprig of mistletoe in their stokings as the each have been...um OK this year, I guess.

The other members of my team should recieve a marry Christmas, filled with joy and presents.

For our enimies I want them to have a Christmas the will keep them at home, and keep humanity safe from their lust for power.

Cordially,  
Professer Charles Xavier


	10. Santa, Jean Grey

Ok...the last letter. Next is a chapter called Christmas morning , guess what it's gonna contain!

* * *

Santa, 

This Christmas I want...well...several things that I can't put on paper.. Cough, CoughLogan.

Bring Scott a locket with both of our pictures on each of us.

Brign Logan an invation to a private dinner with me, as well as the chance to be passing under the mistletoe at the same time as me.

Bring Jubilee, Kitty, Iceman, and Collosus; a computer, a new game system, lots of different games, art supplies, candy, a trip to the mall(for the girls), a trip to a sports game(for the guys), new communication devices, new public cell phones, and anything else you think that they would enjoy to recieve on Christmas morning.

Bring Rouge a new car, as Remy "accedentily" destroyed her other one during thier last ummmmmm"Battle of wills."

Bring Gambit the chance to play an entire poker game without teh interruption of Logan's temper or a suddenly called mission. Also bring him a new set of poker chips and a new poker table as something "mysteriously" happened to them right after the destruction of Rouge's car.

Bring everyone else a very Merry Christmas, except, of course, for our enimies.

Bring Magneto some new flu bug or something.  
Bring the rest of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants a thing that would cause them to be trapped for days inside of thier base.

Make each of our other en9imies suffer from some infliction that will leave us in peace.

Happy Christmas,

Jean Grey


	11. The Grand Finale, Christmas Morning

Ok, it's a little late I agree. But some stuff sprang up and technicly, a day late isn't bad. Besides, most of you couldn't have been on much this weekend.

* * *

It was Christmas morning and all through the house, all the creatures were stirring, even the Elf. 

The X-Men finally gathered in the main room, where a 10 ft tall pine tree was surrounded by packages of all sizes. The first person to open presents was the professer. From the first package came a very nice suit and a book on Physics. Wolverine beamed when he saw the gratefull look on the Professer's face. The next thing he opened was a fine wooden chess set. When the professer looked around questioning. Cyclops raised his hand and was rewarded by a huge grin on the old man's face.  
The next thing he opened was a wig. This time no one took credit, but everyone burst out laughing as he placed it slowly onto his shiny bald head. The wig was bright purple and made even the dignified old man look like a clown. The next thing he opened contained an entire box of chocolate turtle french silk pie. He looked as if he wanted to dig in right there but he struggled into opening his other presents first. Next was a video tape. The professer took one look at it and blushed.The last box was a Bosten Red Sox cap. Suddenly, there was a voice at the door of the room.

"Did someone wish for a massage this christmas"  
Said the elegant ruler of the Shiar galaxy, Lilranda.

"How about later, my dear"  
Said the happy Professer.  
"And then maybe we can enjoy this...um excellent movie."

Tired of listening to Jubilee's protestations, the team graciously decided to let her open next.

The first thing she opened was a cowboy hat filled with bubblegum and wrapped in a BRiGHT yellow raincoat. She shot a knowing glance at Logan but he refused to meet her eyes. She snatched up the next package. Then she found bunches and bunches of candy. She would be on a sugar high for days with all this. Then she found a 10,000 dollar shopping spree certificate. Next she found a box of clothes, along with a yellow minidress. She shrieked when she opened the next box. An XBOX 360! YEAH! Then she opened a pair of pajama's that looked very comfortable. THen she opened a computer, with games and a new PS2. Then she found paints and paper. Then she opened a new com device. Finally she opened a cell phone.  
she was a little dissapointed that they hadn't gotten the puppies, but was eager to use her new stuff and see what the others had recieved.

Next was Cyclop's turn to open presents, dressed as Santa. In the first box a foul stench was emmited. Inside were the corpses of two fresh killed deadly rattlesnakes and a rat seemed to be filled with evil. He shut the box quickly as the rat, dubbed Logan, tried to bite him. Just like his namesake Cyclops thought. In the next box was a much better present. A beautifully embroidered scarf and a bottle of 1750 wine. Then he found a book called "Chilling out for dummies." Judging by the snicker from Bobby, this had been his idea. His final present was a locket, with a picture of Jean in one side, and a picture of him in the other.

After that was Jean's turn to open her presents. In the first box was vials of her favorite perfume. In the next box was a braclet of diamonds. Scott smiled shyly. Then she opened a package which contained a beautiffuly woven scarlet sweater, a perfect compliment for her hair. In the next present was the inscription, "Poetry as beautiful as the woman who reads them." She turned to Gambit and he flashed her his ladykiller grin. It the next box was a simple necklace of woven emeralds, that nearly rivaled her eyes for beauty. The next was a new costume, much more fitting for her place on the team than her former one. The final gift was a scrap of paper, folded over. On the outside was written,"Hand this to Logan"  
Jean did as told. Logan opened the paper and his eyes widened in suprise and delight. He kissed her, while Beast held Scott back. Then he showed her the paper.  
One the inside was written.  
"Kiss me."

The next person to open gifts was storm. Many of her gifts were not wrapped, as they were rare species of flowers and beautiful to behold. Then she unwrapped her first present. Inside was a wonderully illistated book about how to cultivate a Japanese garden. The final gift she opened was a simple necklace, woven in the same design as Jean's, but it was composed of icy blue diamonds.

Then the demonic looking blue elf went to open his packages. The first thing he found was a unicycle and his eyes filled with delight as he attempted a ride on it. Then he opened a poker set. Then Gambit offered to teach him to play properly. The last gift was a new bible engraved with beautiful script. His bright gaze flickered over the pages.

The next to open was Collosus. His first package contained candy. The secound was a piece of mistletoe. Then to his delight he opened a computer with art games, tickets to a ball game, com device and a cell phone. THen his face truly lit up when he opened the scetch pad and paints.

Then Kitty opened her presents. She opened the mistletoe and grinned. Then she opened the shopping spree certificate, almost a duplicate of Jubilee's. Thier eyes met and they both shouted at the same time.  
"Let's take Rouge"  
Rouge just sighed. Then Kitty went back to opening her presents. The next thing she opened was awsome clothing and cool Pg's. Then she opened a new com device.Finally she opened a cell phone and grinned.  
Then Bobby went to open his presents, and inside found, of course, mistletoe as well as A new game. The sequel to his other one, no less.He of course had tickets to the ball game and a com device and a cell phone. He grinned as he opened his last package and out spilled 4 pounds of candy.

Then Rouge went to open her presents, after a spat with Gambit. The first thing she opened was a pair of new gloves, black and blue. The secound was the old movie, Rose Red. The only movie that ever scared her, since her fav author was Steven King. Next was a huge package. Inside were all the writings of Steven King. She let out a silent cheer. At the next package she had to smile. It was a brand new leather jacket that almost comicly resembled her old one. The final package was tiny. Inside was a single key. All of the sudden, from outside a car horn blasted. She flew to the window. Outside was a cherry apple red convertable. Her eyes lit up, but they convinced her to stay inside untill the others had opened thier presents.

Then came Gambit. The first thing he unwrapped was a video camera, which Xavier picked up and faced toward Gambit. IN the secound gift was several weeks worth of seasonings. In the third were 10 packs of common playing cards and one beautifully desigened pack. In the next were a pair of expensive mirrored sunglasses. In the third was a case of bourbon. Then he discovered his bo-staff, better than new. He picked it up and spun it around. Cards started flying out the ends, showering the team. Then he realized he had his thumb on the green button and, pointing it at the door to the room, unleased an attack of charged cards. Next he opened a bunch of scary movies. His final gift was the best so far in his opinion. He opened a poker set, chips and a Texas hold 'em table.

Finally they convinced Logan to open his.The first thing he opened was beer, of which he tossed Nightcrawler one. Then he opened a bottle of whiskey. Then he opened another thing of beer. then he sniffed the next package and grinned as he lit up one of the fine cuban cigars. Next he opened a shirt of flannel design that stated "No, Im not a phsyco lumberjack." The team burst out lauging. Next he opened keys. He stared out the window and was suprised to find that next to Rouge's new car was a better-than-Scott's motercycle. Then he opened a bottle of very fine wine. Then he opened an envelope that turned out to be dinner with Jean.

Then there came a knock on the door. There stood a fully clothed Emma Frost, carrying letters. The X-men opened them. They were from the bad guys.

"Not-so merry christmas. We regret to inform you, that due to some sudden strain of the flu, as well as Sabertooth seeming to drink himself into having a killer hangover. and we do mean killer... still, we make the best of it that we should enjoy christmas."

The team burst out lauging.

Emma shook the deep snow, perfect for playing, from her new boots. Then she pointed to her car and clicked the button on her keyring. Out rushed a pack of pups.

The first one was a tiny chiwawa that ran up to Scott and promptly peed on his leg. On it's nametag was written, "Slim." The team burst out lauging.

The next one to emerge was a perfect shining collie. It trotted up to Jean and licked her hand. Her name was "Summer."

The next one was a growling snarling mutt that jumped on Logan and proceeded to lick his face. His decidedly German Shepard mutt jumped off him and stood at his side,still snarling and wearing a nametag that read "Blade."

Next came a floppy eared beagle, with big huge eyes. It shyly looked up at Jubille and almost tripped over his nametag, which read "Mallrat."

Then appeared a cute little Yorkie that hopped up on the Professer's lap and looked up at him. Her nametag read "Lil."

Out lumbered an Old english sheepdog puppy. It came up to storm and looked up calmly, licking at her hands. His name was "Thunder."

Before anyone noticed it, a blue-black lab had sprung over to Nightcrawler. The dog's name read "Clown."

Then emerged a HUGE puppy. The Great Dane jumped up at Collosus, thus tearing off it's nametag. It's name read "Tin Man."

Out srung a lab and border collie mix, purely black. Her name read "Shadow." She rushed up to kitty and began to lick at her face.

Then came a furry mutt with huge blue eyes. He trotted up to Rouge. One his coller was the name "Theif."

Then a big Rottwieler puppy jumped at gambit's hand, playing tug of war with the card Gambit currently held. It's nametag read "Ace."

Finally the last puppy emerged, a hairy St. Benard that lolled up to Beast. It looked up at him, panting. It's nametag read, "Darwin."

The End.

* * *

Epilouge... 

The next winter 8 puppies were born to Summer, Jean's collie. They bore a suspicious resemblence to a certain german shepard mix.


End file.
